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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788212">Do you remember us? How we used to be...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HushBekk/pseuds/HushBekk'>HushBekk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Emotional Baggage, F/F, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lesbians in Space, Past Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Poor Catra (She-Ra), Psychological Torture, Unresolved Emotional Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:33:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788212</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HushBekk/pseuds/HushBekk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What would you be doing back in Etheria?</p><p>Nothing, she answered herself, there was nothing for her back there. She had gone ahead and destroyed every single thing that could have saved her. She was a monster. Catra watched her reflection in the hard glass, her hair was a mess, some of her claws her broken, her left cheek was swollen and her face was stained with tears and blood from the beating she took back in the control room. Damn, she couldn’t even recognize herself…but that was her. That was the little girl that hid herself from Shadow Weaver when she did something wrong, the prideful cadet that marched to her first battle and the bitter commander she had become later on in her life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Those dangerous thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Heya! I don´t know if you remember this fic, but I´m the original author! I had to delete our work a few months ago for several personal reasons, but it´s back up for you!</p><p>I hope you like this fic, and this time I´m going to finish it!</p><p>Remember, drink a glass of water, eat a snack and rest.</p><p>Stay safe!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra paced in circles in the cell, the pit in her stomach only grew more and more as time passed. She has been caught helping Sparkles escape, of course, and thanks to that the etherian ship changed course in time. As of <em>her</em>? Catra scoffed, she would soon face the consequences.</p>
<p>She had tried to free herself, clawing at the green door of her cell. But that had been hours ago, and she was still there, forgotten like those silly memories she refused to acknolege.</p>
<p>Maybe she managed to sleep for a couple of minutes, exausted and beaten. </p>
<p>Suddenly she heard the clones approach her cell, and she prepared herself to be dragged around again, but this time she was going to pull up a fight, a <em>good</em> fight. She unsheathed her claws and prompted herself in a fight stand, her bones cracking with every move she made, perks of being injured she guessed. Catra knew something and it was that she´s <em>NOT</em> going down without a fight.</p>
<p>One of the clones open the cell´s door, it´s green eyes mocking her as they looked down on her –Catra, Horde Prime has appointed your <em>session</em>, you will be called later. We expect you to cooperate- and with that they were gone again. She felt herself sink further into the cold floor of the cell. So this was the end, huh? She was going to be brutally executed infront of a crowd of freaks. She will die by the hands of a crazy dictator.</p>
<p>From her mouth escaped a laugh, a broken laugh that pierced her lungs with each breath and filled her mind with anxiety and remorse.</p>
<p>The laugh of someone who will face death head on...</p>
<p>
  <em>How did she fuck up so bad?</em>
</p>
<p>Her breathing became erratic and short as panic set into her mind. it hurt her ribs but she didn´t care enough. It had started when Adora left the Horde. Catra had always wanted to match Adora in every single aspect, due to being raised by someone as horrible as Shadow Weaver she supposed. She sat on the floor in hopes of calming down from her panic attack -gah! - She growled in frustration as she pulled at her hair. It was all Adora’s fault...!</p>
<p>Before her mind could complete that sentence, she stopped...</p>
<p>…It wasn’t…</p>
<p>..it wasn’t Adora’s, nor anybody’s fault…</p>
<p>How had she fallen so <em>low</em>?</p>
<p>She looked up to the stars and planets before; at least Horde Prime had granted her a cell with a view to the vast space in front of her. Perhaps it was to taunt her; to remind her of her petty, regrettable life choices during her last moments, maybe it was out of sick courtesy or even a sick game…she didn’t care anymore. Stars and comets alike glowed with such a beautiful light, and in such beautiful colours. Catra felt her tears fall from her eyes, they stung her skin were the cuts and bruises were, but that only made Catra feel more <em>alive</em>.</p>
<p>And feeling alive was something that felt...surreal right now. </p>
<p>Catra would normally be painfully aware of her surroundings, planning on how to escape from this damned ship; she would angrily wipe her tears away and focus on moving forward, she always did. But she had nowhere to go, she had nowhere to run and hide. <em>It was a dead end</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>What would you be doing back in Etheria?</em>
</p>
<p>Nothing, she answered herself, there was nothing for her back there. She had gone ahead and destroyed every single thing that could have saved her. She was a monster. Catra watched her reflection in the hard glass, her hair was a mess, some of her claws her broken, her left cheek was swollen and her face was stained with tears and blood from the beating she took back in the control room.</p>
<p>Catra...she was Catra.</p>
<p>Damn, she couldn’t even recognize herself…but that was <em>her.</em> That was the little girl that hid herself from Shadow Weaver when she did something wrong, the prideful cadet that marched eagerly to her first battle and the bitter commander she had becamed later on in her life</p>
<p>She turned away from the window; Catra didn’t want to deal with the fact that she had changed so much, and for the worse…perhaps she should deal with it, but it was far too late. The promising idea of redemmtion seemed unreachable for the magicat.</p>
<p>
  <em>Do one good thing in your life!</em>
</p>
<p>Catra bit her lip to prevent sobbing when she remembered Glimmer´s words. Her ears fell flat against her head as she trying to resemble the hugs Adora used to give her back in her childhood by crossing her arms around her torso. She had spent all her life looking for approval and power, but that wasn’t what she wanted…it wasn’t what she needed. But of course she could never say anything, her pride and bitterness had to come back and bite her in the ass in the end.</p>
<p>She had lost her best friend, her comrades, her position in the horde and now she was going to lose her <em>life.</em></p>
<p>All of the people she had hurt plagued her mind, Adora, Scorpia, Entrapta…all of them. A small part of her wished she could see them again for a last time, even if anger and pity would be evident in their faces.</p>
<p>She wished for a better future…but it was too late now. She had a lot of chances to go back in the past and grow as a person…but now…now she was truly alone.</p>
<p>
  <em>Hey Adora</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What a silly phrase she would say</em>
</p>
<p>Oh Adora, how much she had missed her these last years. Her stupid blonde hair puff and her weird laughs always brought joy to her. She had wanted to stay mad at Adora for abandoning her back then and for sometime she did, but now she couldn’t bring herself to resent her friend.</p>
<p>It wasn’t Adora’s fault after all, it was <em>Catra´s</em>. She could have reached her best friend´s hand and flee with her to Brightmoon from the begining, to start a better life alongside her and to love and cherish Adora for the rest of her life. Now that opportunity was long gone, it was gone the moment Catra opened that stupid portal.</p>
<p>At least she was far away from her, and Glimmer was now safe. Neither her nor Adora would have to look back for the magicat…she was ready for whatever punishment was ahead of her. It was strange to feel peace, to feel numb at the idea of dying in a probable painful way, but it relaxed Catra.</p>
<p>After all those years, she finally made peace with her feelings moments before her “death”.She curled herself in the cold, white floor…she was alone in the middle of the stars…</p>
<p>…<strong>With Horde Prime</strong>…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Safe again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What´s the best thing to do while you rest in bed after your ex-best friend rescued you from the hands of a tyrant? Oh yeah, sulk.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for going M.I.A for a month or two, the final weeks of my last semester of school made me sick to the point where i´ve slept 10 hours daily during vacations! How y´all holding on during this rought times?! </p><p>Back to the fic. Damn, writing Catra is complicated but fun! I managed to recover a good chunk or the original text, but I tweaked a few things to make the chapter flow better. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>…She was alive…or at least for now.</p><p>They all had gone to Prime´s ship and rescued her, and by all she referred to Adora, Glimmer, Bow and even Entrapta. Somehow they managed to take on all the army of clones and managed to come out of there unscratched…well…most of them. Catra could still remember vividly the pain and anguish she felt when she was forced to fight against Adora.</p><p>She was sure she died, at least for a moment she was really close to do so.</p><p>She fucked up didn’t she? She fought Adora…</p><p>Was she truly the villain of the story? Catra knew the answer was clear, but it still hurt. Looking back at all the things she did in Etheria, she only feels regret and shame.</p><p>It wasn’t like she hadn’t fought her before, but this was different, it felt so <em>wrong</em>. <strong>He</strong> had seen her mind and felt her anguish and pain, something Catra preferred to hide from everyone, and made her use those feelings against her best friend; it was nothing personal, but she did´t like having her privacy being dissrupted by some lunatic in a cult, the magicat wanted to scream in rage. But she couldn’t, because right now, Adora was in her room.</p><p>Why was she here again? Catra didn’t know. But she could hear the gentle snores of the other girl, who rested almost at the other side of the bed.</p><p>Adora probably fell asleep while watching over her. She looked so <em>tired</em>, her clothes where a wrinkled, scratched mess and the dark circles under her eyes where prominent enough to be seen in the darkness. The blond still had the cuts Catra had inflicted to her while she was chipped. They weren’t infected at least, but the pinkish colour and the swelling in her skin made guilt flow through Catra´s veins.</p><p>The fact that Prime had access to her mind made her feel vulnerable and weak, and Catra hated that with every inch of her body.</p><p>Looking at Adora again, Catra felt bad for her, but she was also so mad. She has told her not to come back for her and she still <em>did</em>. Even when she told her that it was too dangerous! Stupid reckless Adora!</p><p>But it wasn’t her fault; Adora has always been like this. She always rushed to her friends when they got in trouble. It was something Catra admired of her. But not this time, this time was different. This time there was so much to lose that Catra couldn´t afford. It was too dangerous for her; she didn’t want Adora to face the same torture she had endured by the hands of Prime…</p><p>…speaking of <em>that</em>…</p><p>Those horrible memories where going to take a while to dissipate. If it was even possible; the magi-cat prayed it was. But for now, she was drained from the previous fight, both physically and mentally. Maybe getting some rest would make her mind at ease?</p><p>Catra tried to push the phantom memories of Prime´s touch and voice as she turned and tossed in her bed as silently as she could as to not disturb Adora. The chip was still in her neck, attached to her very nerves and it made Catra uneasy…what if it activated again? What if she was forced to hurt them again? What if-</p><p>No, it won’t happen. At least she hopes so.</p><p>Right now she´ll try to get some sleep, if nightmares don’t plague her mind again…and hopefully in the morning she would have the strength she needed to scoff at Adora and her stupid plan. But even now while she lay mad in the small bed, it felt like <em>home</em>…</p><p>She missed feeling secure.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I´m glad for anyone who still remembers this old fic i wrote and deleted almost half a year ago, well here i am fixing it and re-posting it. Let me know in the comments if you have any suggestions, see ya till next Sunday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Help me, I´m drowning in my own anger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It felt awful, to be forced to watch the one she loved put herself in danger willingly. And even when she tried to intervene she was told to stop and step aside.</p>
<p>Catra was so done!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no dignity left, my teacher asked if I had any published works and I was there like O-o<br/>Anyways, ENJOY THE CHAPTER!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra walked through the dense forest, Melog trotted right by her side mewing whatever words of comfort Catra would take.</p>
<p>It had happened <em>again</em></p>
<p>Adora always put herself in danger and for her it didn’t matter the outcome, for Catra, it did. She couldn’t take it anymore; the blonde didn’t even listen to her.</p>
<p>It had always been like this since their childhood; Adora was always the one to take the risks, the one to come up with the craziest ideas, the one that put herself at risk and the one that didn’t had any regard of her self-preservation.</p>
<p>And to be honest, Catra was tired of it</p>
<p>She was tired of thinking, she was tired of <em>everything </em></p>
<p>Her steps felt heavy and forced, the leaves crunched each time Catra stepped on them. The tuffs of fluff in her ears bounced in each step, making her slightly annoyed. Everything felt <em>too</em> near and <em>too</em> far at the same time, the sounds felt <em>too</em> close to her ears and the air felt dense and cold.</p>
<p>It felt awful, to be forced to watch the one she loved put herself in danger willingly. And even when she tried to intervene she was told to stop and step aside.</p>
<p>She was so fucking done with Shadow Weaver; she couldn’t even believe that she had to cooperate with her! After everything she´d done to them she expected to be a part of all of this...</p>
<p>
  <em>It wasn’t fair that she had to talk to her abuser</em>
</p>
<p>Fine then! If Adora wanted to stay as the old hag´s favorite then Catra was going to step aside. Quite literally, she packed her bag with the few things that belonged to her and headed out of the camp, Melog going right after her. She didn’t even said goodbye to the rest of the gang, but it was for the best. Right now she was so enraged that she feared she might snap at them.</p>
<p>Catra was sure she was crying, or on the verge to, but she didn’t feel anything other than frustration. Her vision became blurry and her breathing became erratic.</p>
<p><em>Just breathe Catra, like in those silly meditation sessions Perfuma does</em>…Catra thought, she still had a lot of trauma to process, hell, and it wasn’t even easy when she had already made peace with her “death”. But at least she tried to get better, for Adora and the others.</p>
<p>But right now she felt like relapsing into her anger. Hell, they didn’t even care for her progress, did they?</p>
<p>So it was better for her to stay away, get somewhere quiet and think. At the distance, unknowingly to her, a tall, blonde girl ran as if her life depended on it.</p>
<p>-Catra!-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HELLO AGAIN! I hope y´all enjoyed this chapter that I´ve brewed with my last braincells. This one was a little short to compensate that the next one is MASIVE. Don´t be shy and drop any suggestions or ideas you have in the comments. See y´all in the next chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Heavy is the cost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It was all worth it in the end, she thought.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They did it!</p>
<p>They defeated Horde Prime!</p>
<p>Seeing the magic flow back through Etheria was something Catra would never grow used to, but it was beautiful nonetheless.</p>
<p>The vegetation grew in sizes and colours the Etherians never expected, the sky glowed in a beautiful cyan colour during the day and a dark purplish colour during the night; the best part was the tree that was formerly Prime´s ship now floated in the atmosphere of the planet. It was gorgeous, that´s for sure.</p>
<p><em>It was all worth it in the end</em>, she thought. The grass underneath her twirled in the wind, dancing in the soft spring breeze.</p>
<p>Nighttime was the favorite of Catra, the air felt cold against her skin and the sky had millions of little white dots, stars, in it. She often went to the Fright Zone just to get closer to the sky. Now, after everything she was gone through, she appreciated little things like this.</p>
<p>People all over Etheria were busy trying to recover the losses of the Horde and Prime, Salineas was among those who took it the worst, Catra didn’t want to step near that city ever again, but she did. Both to help Mermista re-built the city (they had an amazing friendship once Mermista forgave her, who would have thought?) and to assist Adora during her travels to help people.</p>
<p>At first she felt out of place, and with good reasons. The people of Salineas still resented her for all the things she has done to them. It was fair, she thought. But after weeks and months of working with the townspeople to rebuild their home, she didn’t felt so out of place anymore. They didn´t push her away anymore, and they even invited her to small events or parties.</p>
<p>She felt at peace.</p>
<p>For the next few months thing started to look better. Brightmoon had been established as capital of the planet, with Queen Glimmer guiding all of them. Catra was so proud of her friend, even when she felt a pang of guilt for the fate of Glimmer´s mother, she still stayed strong and powerful for the pink-haired Queen. Glimmer and Bow ended up together not long after Prime had been defeated.</p>
<p>Catra was now a captain of the forces of Brightmoon, she couldn’t let her fighting skills go to waste! By her side she had Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio, who had also enlisted in the army. They did their best to protect the citizens and the integrity of the city.</p>
<p>She was also mediating with Perfuma and Scorpia; it was become a daily thing for her. To be fair she was getting better at controlling and canalizing her anger.</p>
<p>Catra was healing, slowly but steadily.</p>
<p>Unknowingly to her, there were three graves in Brightmoon´s resting place that belonged to her parents and her brother. But that will be kept a secret for a while, at least that’s what Adora and Glimmer agreed…for the sake of Catra´s emotional health.</p>
<p>Also, she had Adora. After all these years and conflicts, she had a home to return to and a strong, sturdy pair of arms to hug. She had become fond of writing poesy for Adora; the other would always blush when Catra praised her in her words. She´d written endless journals about their adventures and disagreements, writing them down in painful detail for everybody to read.</p>
<p>After everything, she was happy. She had her friends by her side and her girlfriend at the other.</p>
<p>Looks like she did have her happy ending after all…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-x-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Years have passed, almost eleven, to be more specific.</p>
<p>The galaxy was now in peace. Magic had been restored to every corner of it. It had been a hard mission to accomplish, but her and the “best friend squad” made sure that it was worth it. They traveled to even the farthest corners of the galaxy to restore peace and magic.</p>
<p>Every planet and every star was now free from Prime´s clutches.</p>
<p>Catra is now a happy mother of two, Finn, her firstborn and Amelia, her newborn daughter of just six months. She couldn’t be more proud of her little ones, even if they are a pain in the arse some times. She lives with Adora and Melog in the outskirts of Brightmoon, near the forest.</p>
<p>Oh, and they´re <em>married </em>now.</p>
<p>She had popped the big question when they were in the trip to restore magic to the universe. They were looking to the sky on a flower field when she got down on one knee and asked her beloved Adora if she wanted to marry her.</p>
<p>She had never seen Adora so happy and so in love.</p>
<p>Glimmer and Bow were so happy together, and they ruled Brightmoon with kindness. No matter where you looked in the small kingdom. Everything was beautiful and at peace.</p>
<p>And even in the rainy, gloomy days, when she would feel that characteristic pain in the back of her neck and sworn that she could hear that mocking voice in the corner of her mind, she could always count on Adora to be there for her.</p>
<p>Maybe her parents and sibling were gone, but she was sure they would be proud or her. At least that´s what king Micah said to her that faithful day she found out of her family’s fate</p>
<p>Her hair was now long and had a healthy shine, and the dark circles under her eyes were almost invisible now. She got better, after all those years of emotional abuse and relapses.</p>
<p>She was glad Adora saved her from Prime all those years ago when she was on the brink of giving up.</p>
<p>She was glad that she didn’t give up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, I´m back! This is the final chapter, the end of the road, the last tale yadayada. </p>
<p>This was one of the first fics I posted on ao3. I cringe a little when i see my writing style, but well, that´s only a signal that i´ve improved. This work has helped me to overcome my anxiety to publish my works and has taught me a lot about story-writing and character composition.</p>
<p>I hope that you enjoyed this fic, if you like my writing style (which has gotten better i swear) feel free to check out my other works if you have time! Consider subscribing to my profile to have updates for whatever crazy idea i decide to publish next.</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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